Scotland the freezing

The British public service is a curious beast. Details of why this is would bore even those who read my drivel regularly. Suffice to say that I have never encountered an organisation with more red tape. Any attempt to break through these paper barriers causes an army of life-long devotees to the cause of maintaining the bureaucratic nightmare to drop their government issue pens and send you to a day long course entitled 'How to be submissive'.

Alright, I exagerate a little there. In fact, I'm currently enjoying the benefits of a very strange decision.

I work in the centre of London. For those in the know, I'm right next to the British museum. Until recently, my manager sat behind me. Now, my manager is based in Edinburgh. That's right, Scotland.

In an attempt to bring the Service into the digital, new wave, funky down with the kids age, the service has decided that I can be managed remotely by Scottish Ian. Apart from the fact that this means that my toilet breaks are no longer timed, it means that I get free trips up to Edinburgh every month or so. Score. In fact, as I write this I'm on a train back from Scotland. In fact, right now we're travelling through Newcastle-upon-Tyne, which has a replica harbour bridge. But I digress.

Many people know Scotland for bagpipes, tightasses and gingers galore, thought I'd tell you about a few other things I've noticed about the place.

1. Deep fried pizzas
Yes, you read right. Most people have heard of deep-friend mars bars. They are real, take any chocolate bar into a fish and chip shop and they'll happily batter (in the fish batter mind you) and deep fry it for you.

Perhaps a little less known stable is the deep-fried pizza. Method is quite simple. Get the cheapest, nastiest pizza from the supermarket, batter and deep fry for a delicious, crispy Italian feast. There are, of course, variations on this theme. The calzone for instance, usually a folded pizza base filled with mozarella and various other fillings. In Scotland, the calzone involves taking said cheap pizza, folding it in half, filling with brown (bbq) sauce, batter and deep fry.

This might seem unbelievable, but it happens, google it. Sadly, I went looking for proof last night, but was told that this was peculiar to Glasgow, which is also famous for its violent soccer fans. Given this, its hardly surprising that Scotland has the second highest rate of obesity at 23% of population, compared with 26% in the USA. I read in the paper this morning that school canteens were doing their bit to address this trend by selling chips at lunch only 3 days per week. Bit of a tip, that's still 60% of the week guys, try salads and stuff 100% of the time!

To be continued...