Scotland the freezing

The British public service is a curious beast. Details of why this is would bore even those who read my drivel regularly. Suffice to say that I have never encountered an organisation with more red tape. Any attempt to break through these paper barriers causes an army of life-long devotees to the cause of maintaining the bureaucratic nightmare to drop their government issue pens and send you to a day long course entitled 'How to be submissive'.

Alright, I exagerate a little there. In fact, I'm currently enjoying the benefits of a very strange decision.

I work in the centre of London. For those in the know, I'm right next to the British museum. Until recently, my manager sat behind me. Now, my manager is based in Edinburgh. That's right, Scotland.

In an attempt to bring the Service into the digital, new wave, funky down with the kids age, the service has decided that I can be managed remotely by Scottish Ian. Apart from the fact that this means that my toilet breaks are no longer timed, it means that I get free trips up to Edinburgh every month or so. Score. In fact, as I write this I'm on a train back from Scotland. In fact, right now we're travelling through Newcastle-upon-Tyne, which has a replica harbour bridge. But I digress.

Many people know Scotland for bagpipes, tightasses and gingers galore, thought I'd tell you about a few other things I've noticed about the place.

1. Deep fried pizzas
Yes, you read right. Most people have heard of deep-friend mars bars. They are real, take any chocolate bar into a fish and chip shop and they'll happily batter (in the fish batter mind you) and deep fry it for you.

Perhaps a little less known stable is the deep-fried pizza. Method is quite simple. Get the cheapest, nastiest pizza from the supermarket, batter and deep fry for a delicious, crispy Italian feast. There are, of course, variations on this theme. The calzone for instance, usually a folded pizza base filled with mozarella and various other fillings. In Scotland, the calzone involves taking said cheap pizza, folding it in half, filling with brown (bbq) sauce, batter and deep fry.

This might seem unbelievable, but it happens, google it. Sadly, I went looking for proof last night, but was told that this was peculiar to Glasgow, which is also famous for its violent soccer fans. Given this, its hardly surprising that Scotland has the second highest rate of obesity at 23% of population, compared with 26% in the USA. I read in the paper this morning that school canteens were doing their bit to address this trend by selling chips at lunch only 3 days per week. Bit of a tip, that's still 60% of the week guys, try salads and stuff 100% of the time!

To be continued...

Not looking good

25 - 3 to France. France played well in a tight game with few chances, Ireland didn't ever get into the match. Now, they have to beat Argentina and score 4 tries. And to be fair, Argentina have played very well and deserve a place in the quarter finals, perhaps it would be unfair if the Irish made it above them.

Rugby world slop

It's not easy being a passionate Irish rugby supporter at the best of times.

This statement means a lot of things. In many ways it's a public acknowledgement that the Irish, not the Wallabies, are my first team. There is no rational explanation for this. We left Ireland for good before my 10th birthday. I've been back on many occasions, it is a beautiful place with even more beautiful people, but it hasn't ever felt like home.

I think it's more to do with the fact that Australia is just so damn good at pretty much every sport it takes seriously. We dominate rugby league and cricket, and can boast to being the only nation to win the Rugby World Cup more than once. That and the fact that the ARFU have for many years been part of a small-minded push which sees countries like Samoa, Argentina, Tonga and Fiji excluded from genuine competition outside of World Cups.

The Irish on the other hand have struggled for years and years. They haven't won anything since I was a boy. Anything other than the triple crown, which is like the prize you get for losing to France. For the last 3 years though, they've had a bloody good team, a team equal to the best in the world. They have beaten Australia and South Africa, regularly beat England and pushed the All Blacks hard in New Zealand. Hopes were high coming into this world cup, Ireland were serious contenders.

2 games in, and the team are a shambles. 27-17 over Namibia was an embarrassment, but watching the game on Saturday was like watching a slow train approaching while trying to untie the ropes that fasten you to the tracks. For those who don't know, we played Georgia, a nation of 300 rugby players and 8 rugby pitches. We won, 14-10, but the victory was hollow. No bonus point, no possession, and really, a feeling that Ireland were very, very lucky to win.

So the equation is this. We play France on Friday night this week, and Argentina the following Sunday. Beat the French and we're probably through, however the way they're playing now a 40 point thrashing looks likely. Lose to the French, don't get a bonus point, and we probably won't make the quarter finals. Desperate stuff. Beat the French and the French go out, however the French beat Namibia 85-10 or something ridiculous like that.

I guess we live in hope. This week, that is my hope.